Near Death Experience?

My Cloud Angel in the Sky.

Surely the Lord is in this place,

and I did not know it.

Genesis 28:16

 “Near Death” is an over-exaggeration but it does get one’s attention. I actually believe that I had a Near Death experience without actually being in mortal danger! Let me explain:

1.       I have to give some background information for the story to make any real sense. I suffer from asthma and I have had some severe asthma attacks where I was gasping for breath and blacking-out was a real possibility.  I am a professional clown and when I perform it is VERY PHYSICAL! It is the same as an athlete in the “Zone!” Or like a concert pianist with full concentration, body and soul poured into your performance – Exhausting! I have even had paramedics giving me oxygen when collapsing with heat exhaustion.

2.       I was performing as Boocoos the Clown at the Red River Revel Arts Festival in Shreveport, Louisiana for an 8-day Festival. In the mornings we would go out on Revel Mission Trips to hospitals, homeless shelters, and Head Start Centers. We would have a few hours off for lunch and then we would do another Hospital Residency in the afternoon. Then I would return to the festival for two hours  (5-6pm & 7-8pm with an hour off to rest!) of LIVE Street Performances for the children in the Kid’s Area. So my days were filled from morning, afternoon and night!

On the closing Saturday, the busiest night of the festival, I was recuperating between shows. I put out so much energy that I easily get dehydrated. I was backstage behind the tents drinking my Gatorade when I looked up and I vividly saw ANGEL WINGS in the sky.

When I saw the Angel in the Sky it was breath-taking (like being sucker-punch in the stomach).

Usually when I look at the clouds I see dogs, bears, animals, funny faces, but never a harbinger of doom or an Angel of Revelation. I am not one to look for omens or signs, but this image of Angel wings immediately brought this thought to bear: “Am I about to die? Is this it?” (It truly felt like being in Judgement before God; a very humbling experience!.) 

Now this may sound scary but it was NOT scary at all. I truly looked at the Angels in the Clouds with “Awe” a real feeling of reverence and calm. NO Fear at all… and then I think I said out loud, “If this is the last day of my life… It has been a very good day! It had been a BLESSED DAY!!!  

My life did not flash before my eyes, but my DAY flashed by in my memory. And with conviction I knew that it had been a very Blessed Day filled with hard work, aching muscles, physical exhaustion, but also filled with children and laughter, LOVE; it was a Great Day---A Day to be Thankful For!

I couldn’t think of a better day or way to go (die) for it had truly been a Blessed Day, I was filled with gratitude, love and a closeness with God and indeed a closeness with all of Creation.

I am truly grateful for the Awareness to see these amazing everyday miracles in our everyday lives; it would be so easy to be too busy and ignore these Gifts from God. Now one of the best lessons I learned from this experience is that now on occasion, I ask myself if this was the last day of my life… and the answer keeps coming back, “It has been a Blessed Day and I am truly thankful for it and I will try to live each day in a State of Gratitude.

This is the day the Lord hath made’

Rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Please don’t waste a single moment…
Every moment is an opportunity to manifest
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 

― Thich Nhat Hanh


Really hearing the bird sing Or really seeing the blue sky,
We touch the seed of the Holy Spirit within us.

Thich Nhat Hahn

By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all nature seems renewed around me and with me. The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue, the trees a deeper green. The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet.

- Thomas Merton

Impermanence a poem inspired by Mary Oliver's "Snow Geese"
"Oh to love what is lovely and will not last."

hich Nhat Hahn Quotes:
Inspirational meditation nature video with the Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hahn