Witness New Psalms

Witness New Psalms, Strange Songs, Sad Songs...
I don't know where they belong.




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New Psalms (Songs)

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40:3

New Psalms: View as a PDF file!



"Out of the quarrel with others we make rhetoric;
Out of the quarrel with ourselves we make poetry."

W.B. Yeats

“Strange Songs, Sad Songs, I don’t know where they belong” lives up to its title. When I first started writing I did not know where these poems belonged. The writing started off so depressing I couldn’t see how it could help anyone; not even myself!

The writing begins with doubt, depression, and pain; fears! It moves through self-pity to anger; not with outrage but a restrained anger.

- only a fool gives full vent to his anger.

Somehow remorse comes in; Light is shed on the darkness. Remorse, conviction of sins, sincere repentance, turning from sin begins. You receive forgiveness from your sins from God.

And then it happens: a flicker of Hope! Hope, Faith, and Love come into your heart. You are filled with God’s Grace, Strength, Comfort, and Salvation.

And Love Conquers All Despair and Fears. Open up your heart and let the Light shine in!

Osten



DEPRESSION FACTS AND HELP





At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals and their families are afraid to talk about their struggles, and don't know where to turn for help. However, depression is largely preventable and treatable. Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical towards recovery.

In collaboration with WHO to mark World Mental Health Day, writer and illustrator Matthew Johnstone tells the story of overcoming the "black dog of depression".

For more information on World Mental Health Day, please visit: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/events...
- Published on Oct 2, 2012

I love dogs, even black dogs. For me it is a "shadow of depression" that follows me. -eoa



Strange songs, sad songs...
I don't know where they belong.



1. New Psalms

Dear Lord,
How can it be?

I Love you Lord with
All of my heart,
But there is much
I don’t understand.

How can I have so much fear,
When I put my Trust in you?

How can I have so many doubts,
When I put my Hope in you?

How can I be so discouraged,
When I put all of my Faith in you?

How can I cry so many tears,
When deep down in my heart
I am filled with such Joy?

How can I be so depressed?
When my life is so richly Blessed?

Sometimes I hate myself,
I wish I had never been born.
But somehow through God’s loving grace,
I am Reborn.

Dear Lord,
I want to cry,
Even though I don’t know why....

Lord, Lord, I run around in circles,
Waving my hands up in the air.
“What do I do?”
“What do I do?”
“I don’t know.”
I must give it all to you.

People I don’t know,
Stand around and stare,
But deep down,
No one seems to care.

Help me Lord,
To do good.
Help me to do What I know that I should.

Lord, Lord, What is wrong with me?
At times I despise myself!
Why can’t I be someone else?

The ones I cursed,
The ones I hurt,
When will they forget?
When will I truly be forgiven?

Dear Lord,
I have too many regrets,
Too many sorrows,
Too many tomorrows.
There is too much past,
Too much future.

I hate and hide
from the present.

My Only Promise
Is in You, dear Lord...
My Only Promise is in You, dear Lord...
My Only Promise is in You, dear Lord...

How can I be so poor
When I am so thankful
for all that you have given me?
How can I be so ungrateful,
When I am so thankful?

How can I be in such desperation?
When I know you dear God,
Are in control of every situation?

The world has really hurt me.
My heart has been broken,
yet my heart is filled with Joy.

People who love me surround me,
Yet I am all alone.
How can I be so all alone?
When I am so filled with Love?

I am empty and have nothing,
Yet my cup is filled to overflowing.

From this world
I wish to escape,
The chains of this world
they bind me down.
When will I go home?
When will I be *“free, free, free at last?"
- *Martin Luther King Jr.

There are dark corners in my heart,
I feel my life falling apart.

God takes the darkness in my soul –
God turns darkness into Light.

God cleanses my soul whiter than snow.
For I give all of my sins to Him.

I thank you God for forgiving me,
You remember my sins no more.
But Why? Why?
Why can’t I,
Forget the sins that I did commit?

I think I can’t do anything for anyone,
But you God put people in our lives.

You make our Life-Paths cross,
Not so we can be a brief acquaintance,
But so we can make a difference!

I am very rich,
Though I am poor.
I am weak,
But you make me strong.

Dear Lord you are all that I want
You are all that I need.
You are my heart’s desire
You are my portion....
I pray Lord to obey
With gladness your Word
I ask with all of my heart,
Have mercy on me.
I have considered my ways
I pray for the strength
To follow your instructions,
And to hasten without delay
To obey your commands.
- Psalm 119:57-60 adapted

Dear Lord,
Your Love and Grace has captured me.
There is no turning back now.
You have carried me too far.
I am far from where I started...
But I still have a long, long way to go.

I have seen your face,
I have seen the Light.
I feel the warmth of your Love
Upon my face.

I can see heaven
In the distant horizon.

I can see God,
I can see Glory.
Not at the end –
But at the beginning
of a new journey.

It is your journey,
It is your story.
It’s all about
God’s Grace and Glory.

“Strange Songs… Sad Songs I don’t know where they belong.”
From New Psalms by Bible Basics… Layers of Understanding.




2. A Continuous Prayer

I pray to be in your Light,
In the day and in the night.

Before I open my eyes
in the morning.
I pray for my prayers
to begin before I wake.

I pray that your Word
Will be on my lips
And in my heart,
All through the day.

After I close my eyes and sleep.
With the help of the Holy Spirit,
I pray for my prayers,
To continue through the night.

I pray to the Lord,
Morning, noon, day, and night.

Amen

Evening, morning, and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
Psalm 55:17

How can Love and suffering co-exist?
I pray for understanding,
But I only increase my ignorance!

Hot or Cold?
Dark or Light?
Paper or Plastic?
Good or Evil?
Faith or Fear?
Where will I wander?
Where will I ponder?

Dear Lord,
I have so many choices to make.
What will I choose?
What will I forsake?

Should I worry?
Or should I pray?

I shall bow my head
I will bend my knee.
I will be lifted up.
I will give all of my burdens to Him.

I have a God whose Love is Beyond my understanding –
Deep and Wide.
Deep and Wide.

I will put my trust in the Lord,
And not lean on my own understanding.

Life is a never-ending struggle,
a struggle that I will never win.

Please, Dear Lord,
I pray for relief
You send me good Gifts...
I do believe!
Please help my disbelief.

Apart from you I can do nothing.
I pray for strength
That can Only come from you.
Only from you....

I am selfish and self-centered
I always want to be first
Yet it is for your Word,
That I hunger and thirst.



3. Despair

Strange songs
Sad songs...
I don’t know where they belong.

Joy seems to escape me,
But troubles always find me.
Dreams never come true,
But nightmares always do.

Is the cup Half full or empty?
It really doesn’t matter...
For the cup is filled with poison. - J.S.

As bad as things are...
They could be worse.
I am surrounded by people,
With problems far larger than mine.

I have chased money
All of my life.
I looked for a rainbow,
With a pot filled with gold.

Now I have nothing
And now I’m too old
I have no where to put my trust,
Except in the Lord.

Dear Lord,
May the Morning bring me your everlasting loving Word.
For I have put all my trust in you.
Show me the Way I should go,
For to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8 adapted

I try hard to feel better...
If you’re depressed and you know it clap your hands.
If you’re depressed and you know it clap your hands....

When I am down in the “cave of depression”
I hear a soft whisper a calling,
“What are you doing here?”

God lifts me up
He dusts me off and speaks,

“Come, Follow Me.”

I can run swiftly now
With the strength He has given me.
I now have endurance
for God gave me His assurance.

Is it too late to build treasures in heaven?
I haven’t much time.
I must start soon...
Maybe tomorrow.

No, No, No,
I must start today
And not wait for tomorrow.

When I had time,
I did not have money.
When I had money,
I did not have time.
Now I have found a balance –
Now I have neither.
- dona weisman

I trip, stumble, and fall.
I trip, stumble, and fall.
But I get up again.
I pull myself up.

I trip, stumble, and fall.
I trip, stumble, and fall.
All of this...
Just getting out of bed.

What will the day bring?
I’m afraid to open my eyes.
Something good happens
Much to my surprise.

No matter what it was...
I surely must have done it.
I’ll take full responsibility.
I’ll take the blame.
I’ll face the consequences
For this must surely be my shame.

I may be depressed
I may be down.
But I will always, always get up again.
For God gives me strength.

I will always get up
For I have put all of my
Hope, Faith, and Trust in Him.

I will always get up
To meet the challenge.
For God wipes away my tears
And gives me courage to face my fears.

I may be knocked down...
But not knocked out!
As Pastor Rick Hawkins said in his sermon at N.U.M.C

Sometimes I feel “puny” and “small”
And I want to hide.
Why can’t I remember,
God is mighty to save and strong to provide.

Strange songs
Sad songs...
I don’t know where they belong.



Looking Up

Added November 22, 2013

Whenever I am at the bottom...
the bottom of life,
the bottom of the pit...
I cry out in vain.

Slowly I look up...
and there you are....
Where you have always been.

Looking down upon me...
not in disgust...
But looking down lovingly upon me.

You have always been there...
watching over me
with your arms reached out
to hold and comfort me.

All I had to do...
was to look up and take your hand.
And there you were
Always with me.




4. The World’s Piñata

I am the World’s Piñata,
my life is dangling
on a string.

The world it beats me with a stick,
again, again, and again....

I am broken,
my life pours down and out.

I am chewed up,
and then spit out.

I am shattered and broken,
trampled on the ground.

But my loving God, he surely comes along.
God knows my suffering,
God knows my pain.
God stops, God stoops down,
God picks up all the broken pieces.

My broken life
is in his loving hands.
He puts the pieces back together again.
Why do I struggle with the hands that hold me?

God has picked me up,
put me back together again,
for nothing is impossible for Him.

My life has been shattered and put back,
but unfortunately
I still have cracks.
I am damaged goods–
I keep looking back.

I pray to live in heaven,
to walk with God my Lord,
to be made whole,
to be reborn,
to be made anew.
In eternity I pray to continue to love, to praise,
and to serve Him.

Amen



Comment



5. Enigma

How can things co-exist?

On one side of the earth it’s day.
On the other side of the earth it is night.
They both exist at the same time!

I am very much the same.
I live in the Light...
I live in the darkness.

How can Light and darkness co-exist?
This is the way of the world.

I try to live in the Light,
But I always cast a shadow of sin,
Which always follows me.

Heaven is a place where you live in God’s Light,
Where you are Forgiven – free from sin
This is the life I pray to begin.
How can Love and hate and anger co-exist?

How can poverty and hunger
co-exist with prosperity and wealth?

How can suffering, tragedy, and ill health
co-exist with joy, good luck, and good health?

Why does the strong devour the weak?

Why do we march off to war?

How can we treat this good earth
with such contempt and distain?

Why can’t we just help each other?

Why can’t we see the value in each and every man?

Lord, Lord,
What can I do?
I am not sure...
But, Here-I-am.

Lord,
We are your Hands
We are your Feet
We are your Eyes
We are your Ears

You are the Heart of our Love.
Shape us and guide us, dear Lord.

You are the Vine,
We are the branches.
You are the Potter,
We are the clay.

Send us out.

“Whom shall I send,”
asks God

Send Me.

To him that has been given much
Much will be asked of him.

O Dear Lord,
You have given me much,
Yet I pray for more.

I have questions for many things,
I realize that I understand nothing!

Please Lord, gently guide me
Take me by the hand
Hold on tightly
Never let me go.

I am in God’s presence all of the time.
He is my strength,
my Hope, my Friend,my Guide.

Gracious God who counts my days,
I bow down now and give Him praise.
All that I am, I give to Him.

I pray to do the work
He has set before me.

I pray to complete
His work as fast as I can
So I can eternally
Live with Him.
Amen.



“Whoever destroys a soul,
it is considered as if he
destroyed an entire world.
And whoever saves a life,
it is considered as if he
saved an entire world.

Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:9; Yerushalmi Talmud, Tractate Sanhedrin 37a.

Save a Life, Save the World




6. Injustice

6. Injustice

Injustice is the way of the world;
not the Way of Christ.

Injustice is where the strong and the powerful
devour the weak and the helpless.

Injustice is the mother of
selfishness and greed.

Selfishness and greed gives birth
to corrupt ambitions and power.

Corrupted ambitions and power lead to war,
violence, crime and cruelty –
Man’s inhumanity to man.

Injustice breeds poverty, the homeless,
and poverty to where the most vulnerablethe homeless, in our society are at the gravest risk.

Injustice is in a rich world where children die from hunger.

Injustice is where children die from curable diseases.

Injustice is a world of haves;the homeless, and of have nots’.

Injustice is when the rich get richer;the homeless, and the poor....

Injustice is when children are starvingthe homeless, for an education and social opportunities.

Injustice is when children do not receive pre-natal care,
medical care, medical insurance, childcare, good schools,
or enough to eat.

Injustice is when children come home from school
and no one is home;
both parents are working,
a single parent raising their children,
and grandparents raising their children’s children....

Injustice is when we do not see the value
in each man, woman, and child.

Injustice is when we look at others,
those different from us with distain.

What a sinful injustice it is when we don’t tell other people, believers and unbelievers alike about God’s love for us.

The laws, the courts often do not help those that are the most at risk! The child, the orphan, the widow, the single parent, the homeless, the poor, the impoverished, the hungry, the sick, the ailing, the hurting, the lonely, those in prison, those in hospital, the addicted, the mentally challenged, the weak, the lame, those who suffer from depression, family estrangements and separation, those who have loss their health, their security, their home, those who suffered the loss of someone close to them, the loss of someone they love.…

All of these are an injustice. All of these are the way of the world; not the Way of the Lord.

The Way of the Lord is the Way of God’s Grace and Love.

The Lord’s Way is the Way of Hope, and of Faith; and the Greatest of these is LOVE.

These Gifts from God are freely given to us from God, even though we did nothing to deserve, merit, or earn such wonderful Grace.

The way of the world is the way of fear.

The Way of the Lord, is in Jesus Christ, This is the Way; the only Way.

We have a choice on which way, which road, which path,
- which Way we go – Choose!

Faith or Fear?



7. Modern Day Pharisees

Every time we stick our nose up in the air in arrogance at other people; we may look righteous, like we are looking up to heaven, but God is not fooled. God knows our hearts.

If we claim we are without sin; we deceive ourselves,
we are modern day Pharisees.

Every time we look down upon people and place ourselves on a self-righteous pedestal; and every time we do not see the value in each man, woman, or child, we are modern day Pharisees.

Every time we think we do more than others,

Every time we think our gifts and talents are greater than others;

Every time we are prideful,
our gifts, our sacrifices are not acceptable to God.

Every time our pride comes before God;
we are modern day Pharisees.

Every time we ask Christ,
“Who is the Greatest?”

Every time we want to have the greatest
most important seat at the table;

Every time we want to wrap ourselves in robes of glory before others;
we are modern day Pharisees.

Every time we treat fellow believers or non-believers
with harsh, judgmental, vindictive words
we are not followers of God’s WORD;
we are modern day Pharisees.

Every time we do not encourage and support
fellow believers in their ministry and their mission;
we are modern day Pharisees.

Help us dear Lord to be your people.

You taught us to “love one another as Jesus Christ loved us.” When you washed your disciples feet you showed us that there is no greater love than to love one another and to be a servant to one another.

Jesus Christ laid down
His life for us,
to save us from our sins.

Help us dear Lord,
to give ourselves to you and to others
as a holy living sacrifice for your Glory;
not ours.

Let us always remember that every time we approach God;
we come to God with empty hands.

Amen



8. Mighty to Save and Strong to Provide

I look at the man
With a fat paycheck in his hand
And I think O’ how happy he must be.

I look at my empty hands
At how little I am
I envy and wish that I had
what he had for me.

But God reminds me
in a whisper
Do not envy
do not be deceived.
Obey my Word With joy and faithfulness.

Put your trust in me
And you will be blessed.
And remember
do not put Your God to the test.

When my problems are big
And I am so small
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When life overwhelms me
When I need God’s strength and courage
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When my confidence flees
When I have my doubts
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

Whenever I struggle
And begin to give up
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

Dear Lord I pray to be a wise person
Who heeds your instructions.
No matter how hardheaded I be.

Command me Lord
To walk on the waves
To come out to you.
For God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I wake up in the morning
And I am filled with dread
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am filled with worries and fears
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am hurting
And when I have pain
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When life is too tough
When I’ve had enough
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I have loved
And when I have lost
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I have worked hard
And given my best
- But failed!
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When everything I have built
Has been torn down
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am weak
And when I am knocked down
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am suffering
And when I am in pain
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

Whenever I sin
And pray to be forgiven
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am here
And need to be there
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When my life comes crashing down
And troubles surround me
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I face challenges
That I must overcome
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When obstacles are in my way
And I cannot continue on.
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am lost
And cannot be found
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I am blind
And can’t find my way
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I trip, stumble, and fall
And have no one to help pick me up,
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I have nothing, nothing...
Nothing at all
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When I lose hope
And when I lose faith
Let me remember
That God is mighty to save
and strong to provide.

When problems are few
And troubles are far
Let me remember
That God is always with me,
Mighty to save and strong to provide.

When my days must come to an end
My God will be with me
God holds my hand
For God is mighty to save
And strong to provide

My promise is in heaven
For my salvation is in Him.
For God is mighty to save
And strong to provide.

Amen



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Comment





9.

Lord,
I can do much to help others.
But why can’t I help myself?

Why am I in such despair...
When God is always beside me?

I pray to go wherever God sends me
To do the work God has set before me.

Dear God,
I love you so much,
Hear my despair...
Hear my complaint.

Please, lend me your ear
Rescue me quickly I pray;
Please don’t wait another day.

Jesus Christ,
gave up his life for me.
How can I have so many complaints...
After all that Christ has done for me?



10.

Christ suffered
So I suffer;
God is with me through my pain.

Every day that I pick up my cross and follow my Lord,
I will suffer too.

But my suffering does not compare
To the suffering which,
Christ suffered for me.

Christ gave up his life
So new life could follow.
This is the example
I pray to follow.

Like the Son followed the Father,
I pray to walk in the Son’s footsteps,
Following the Father.



11.

Dear Lord,
I am afraid to wake up and open my eyes
I can’t take another day.
How can I possibly face tomorrow?

Dear God,
I’m not taking one more step without you.
Where are you?
Where can you be?
Why won’t you answer me?

As hard as I work and try –
it is futile.
Apart from you I can do nothing.

Please Lord,
Take me by the hand;
be my guide.
Dear Lord,
Let me hear your Command.



12.

Dear Lord,
I am angry, I blame myself,
for doing me much harm.
I can blame no one else.

People have hurt me in the past;
But I will not allow them to hurt me anymore.

The past is past.
It cannot be changed.
I will stop looking back!

I will look forward to where I am going.
I will make my paths straight to you Lord.
I will seek your face;
I will not be distracted.

I shall turnabout –
turn from sin,
Turn from the pain of the past.

I shall seek my Lord
with all of my heart
And follow close to him.

I pray not just to follow,
but to catch up.
I pray to walk side-by-side
step-for-step, with him.

I pray to never fall behind.
I pray to never be lost again.

My God will never forget me.
My God will never leave me.

Every day is a new day,
a new beginning,
a new dawn.

Every day brings hope.
Every day I pray to live my new life
For every day,
I am reborn.

The past is filled with pain.
Today is filled with worries.
But tomorrow is always filled with hope.

I look to the future
Not for worldly dreams to come true.

I look to the future
For my hope is in God.

If I look far enough
into the future
I can see death.
But if I look further,
past death
I can see a bright new future.

I see a new day, a new dawn,
I can see a new life of salvation.
I see new hope,
I see my Lord,
For I am made new and reborn.

Looking further I can’t see...
But this love continues everlasting
Through all eternity.



13.

All fear and doubt
Have been cast out.
For I am a child of God
I am a child of Light.

For I am filled with God’s
Love and Grace
And this is where I place my Faith.

I will not fear
from this day on
For it is God
To whom I belong.



14.

I will not take one more step without you Lord.
Without you I will never go.
I will hold on to you tightly,
I will never let go.

I will reach out,
I will clutch,
I will grasp you Lord,
with all of my might.

I hold on to you with frail,
weak human hands.
My hands grow weary...
My hands grow old.

But my Faith is not in my strength.
My Faith is in Your Strength.

My Hope, my Faith,
my Strength,
my Salvation -
comes not from me
holding on to you...

But from You, dear God,
Holding on to me.
You dear God,
I am in Your loving caring hands.

Through the storms of my life
My grasp may be weak and faint.
I have no fears...
For You are holding on tightly.

When death appears
I will have no fears.

When I let go
You will still be there,
Holding on ever more tightly.

You will raise me up
Embrace me in Your loving arms.
You will hold me in Your heart
For you have prepared a room for me
And there I will live with you...
Throughout eternity.



15. Turn the Corner

There is something great
Right around the corner.
It is just out of sight
Barely out of reach
Like some wonderful present
Waiting to be opened.

This wonderful present is UNSEEN
And yet like the wind
I know it’s there!
This gift does not try
to escape me
This gift is not allusive.
This gift is not exclusive.

All I have to do is to
“turn the corner.”
Christ reaches out His hand to me and says,
“Please child,
Put your Trust in me.”
“Let’s go there together...”
“Let’s go around the corner.”
“And see what we shall see.”



Christ is patiently waiting for me.
I have no fear to go with Him
For it is my God who is calling me.

I will Joyfully
Obediently
Lovingly...
with all my heart
Go around the corner
For it is my God a calling me.

When death overcomes me
I pray
That Christ will be with me and say,
“Let’s go around the corner.”
“And see what we shall see.”

Do you see...?
Do you hear your God a calling?
Standing at the corner saying,
“Come to me.”
“Please child,
Put your Trust in me.”
“Let’s go around the corner.”
“Let us see what we shall see.”



16. Envy

Prisoner of Debt

Come Holy Spirit,
Help Me, Help Me
Be my Guide.

God of my Salvation,
My Savior,

Save me from bondage, the slavery of poverty and debt.
Give me the faith to move mountains of debt.

Save me from repeating past mistakes.
Save me from myself.

I pray for enough to share.
I pray to be an obedient and trustworthy steward of Your blessings.

Sometimes it seems as though God has a better plan
for the wicked than His plans for the righteous.
Why do the righteous suffer? My foot almost slipped when I envied the prosperity
of the wicked.
Please Lord,
Don’t let me trip over the possessions of others.

How long Lord, will the wicked succeed?
How long Lord, will I continue to bleed?
How long Lord, must the righteous suffer?

Come O Holy Spirit,
Come O Holy Spirit,
Please come and fill my needs.

Hear O Lord,
the prayers of your people.
Hear our prayers from bended knee.

I wait for you Lord
in Patient Great Expectation.

Amen

Dear Lord,
Don’t let me be torn down by riches built up here on earth.

Keep me Lord,
Keep me focused.
Help me to keep my eyes on you and treasures built up in heaven.

Paradox:

What is so strange that I cannot explain.

Well Lord,
I would rather have little and be crushed at the bottom;
Than live with plenty with the wicked up at the top!

I will give my thanks to God
for God is mighty to Save and Strong to Provide!

Distribution

Dear Lord,
There’s more than enough to go around...
If those who have plenty...
would give to those who haven’t any.

If the rich-arrogant would open their eyes...
The needs of poor could be found.

If the rich few
could reach out to the poor many....

The poor is always with us.
Why do we always neglect?

Why do I have eyes filled with greed...
When God gives me everything,
everything I need?

God gives me all that I need.
Keep me Lord,
from a life of greed.

Weed

When I was planted
I was a small seed.
I was watered with arrogance and greed.

I have grown tall;
I am a weed.

But Rains of Grace fell down from heaven.
My old life has died.

Now I have been replanted;
The smallest of seeds.

I am now growing
and bearing good fruit.

God is my Gardener who prunes and cares
for all of my needs.

God pulls all of my weeds.



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17. Alone

I work at night;
I work alone.

But I am not by myself.
God is always with me;
by my side.
He is my guide.

If God is with me;
‘Who can stand against me.’

With God so near;
I have no reason to fear.

o

In the day and in the night;
God is my guiding Light.

o

Here I am again Lord;
Looking for my Friend.

I thank you Lord
for being so close, so near.

Dark, Dark World

I live in a dark, dark world.
I am surrounded by darkness.

I see the Light,
But I live in a dark, dark world.

The Light that I seek
is always just out of reach.
I live in a dark, dark world.

I pray that the Light will shine upon me.
So I won’t live in a dark, dark world.

In God’s hands I am secure;
even in a dark, dark world.

I pray to God,
for my sins to forgive.
For I want to live in God’s pure Light,
and live in a Bright, Bright World.

Waves of Depression

I am being swallowed by waves of depression.

They keep rolling in and beating me down.

Like a riptide they carry me off to my destruction.

I think I’m going to drown.

I pray to God to still the waves on the water.

I pray to God for peaceful still waters.

o

I wish I would look at all I have;
Instead of looking at all that I don’t have.

God is Working in Our Lives

God working in our lives
is not arrogant and vain.

We should be looking
for God to be working...
in our lives.

We should be expecting
God to be working...
in our lives.

We should be praying
for God to be working...
in our lives.

We may not see it;
we may not believe it;
But God is working...
in our lives!

Come Holy Spirit,
Come Holy Spirit,
Come Dear Lord,
and open our eyes.

Come Dear Lord,
Live in our lives.

Amen

Trap

I look cautiously for the Trap so I can stumble in.

o

My mind drifts and races
into far off places.

So I can escape a life of failure -
an insignificant flea.
From this world I want to leave.

As little as I am,
God loves and cares for me.

o

If you regret it;
pray for forgiveness
and try to forget it.

But somehow remember the lessons,
and pray not to make the same mistake again!

New Life

To my old life;
I have died.

To my new Life;
I abide.

o

My mind is like a maze;
My thoughts are trapped
and cannot get out.

My mind is in a fog;
My mind is in a bog.

All I do is trip, stumble,
and fall.

I pray Dear Lord,
that it makes me humble.

I thank you Lord,
for picking me up.

I thank you Lord,
for not giving up!

Dumplings

Doodle, Doodle Dumping
Doodle, Doodle Doo
Doodle, Doodle Dumping
I Love You!

Dinka, Dinka, Dinka
Dinka, Dinka, Doo
Dinka, Dinka, Dinka
I Love You!

o

Yo! Yo!
You Yo!
Red, the Ball!

o

My Hope is kept alive...
When I look into children’s eyes.

When I see their faces...
I see God’s Graces.

Looking Good

When I go to church;
you see me at my best.
To tell ya the truth;
I look like all the rest.

But beneath the façade; beneath the veneer...
I have doubts.
I have fears.

I don’t come to church because I’m good
or because I know that I should.

I come to church to heal from my sins.
Each day is a New Life
I pray to begin.

Help me Lord to be trustworthy in small things
so I may be trustworthy with greater things.

o

“I’ll pray for you.” Is often the equivalent of saying:
“Have a nice day.”
No real commitment –
No real sincerity –
You fail, you forget to pray for them.
But don't worry I'll pray for you???

Alone Again

In a world of have’s;
I have not.
In a crowded room;
I am alone.

Surrounded by plenty;
I have nothing.
When others are built up;
I am torn down.

While others laugh;
I only cry.
While others live;
I want to die.

Surrounded by food;
I go hungry.
Surrounded by wealth;
I crawl in poverty.

When other succeed;
I only fail.
While others live their dream;
I live my nightmare.

How can I be in such distress
when my life is so fully blessed?

How long Lord,
will I be rejected?
How long Lord,
until I am selected?

I feel like my life has been cursed;
Each day my life gets worse.

When will it stop;
When will it end?
When will my life begin
and never end?

Why do others have such plenty?
Why do I live a life of such envy?

Alas, my foot almost slipped for I envied the prosperity
of the wicked.

Nobody wants me...
Nobody needs me...
Nobody loves me...

I pray Lord,
that it can’t be true.
I know Lord,
that I always have you.

Others seem to be so blessed.
Why can’t I be like all the rest?

Dear Lord,
Why do the wicked thrive?
Why do the faithful barely survive?

I pray Lord,
not to have eyes that envy.

I pray not to judge and despise (look down)
on those who have plenty.

I pray dear Lord, to give thanks for all that I have.

I pray not to stumble over the possessions of others.

Lord,
Why do I refuse to be joyful?
Why do I refuse to see what I have?
Why can’t I see how richly blessed I truly am?
Dear Lord, I Believe!
Dear Lord, open my eyes to see.

I have seen the anguish of the rich.
They only have what is in their hands and in their pockets.
They only have what they can carry.

Their burdens are heavy.
Their burdens are more than they can carry.

Their possessions weigh them down like an anchor.
With their possessions they drown.

So I ask you Lord,
Why do I want more things?

Temptation is Bait.
We stare at it and look.
If we take the bait;
We are blind to the hook;
Blind to the consequences of sin.

Why?

Was I born to suffer;
Was I born just to feel pain?

Was I born to be looked down upon;
Was I born just to be stepped on?

Was I born to be so unworthy;
Was I born to be such a failure?

Why is my life so meaningless;
Why does God always put me to the Test?

Will I ever have Hope;
that is not false-hope?

My Hope and Faith is in my God.
I put my Trust in Him.


My Everyday Nightmare

Sleep is my only friend
the only time
my suffering ends.

Sleep is my only sanctuary
But then the nightmare begins:
I WAKE UP!
1/6/14 What a great way to start the year!


Where I Don’t Want to Go

Why do I wallow in such depths of sadness and depression?

Why do I reach such lows?
These are the places
where I don’t want to go.

Why do I come here so often?
Why do I find myself here?
I just don’t know –
I cannot explain....



DEPRESSION FACTS AND HELP



The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis.

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A Beautiful Sound

It’s a beautiful sound...
The wind rustling through the leaves of the trees.

There is nothing more beautiful than the Wind,
the Holy Spirit.
Rustling through the faithful.
(of the church).

o

Miserable Man

These are the stories of a miserable man.
These are my stories;
just as I am.

o

Last night was the worst night of my life...
Until tonight!

What will tomorrow bring?
HOPE I Pray!

I don’t own my time...
I don’t own my money...
I don’t own my gifts...
I don’t own my life.

They all belong to God.
I have been “Souled” to God,
My Redeemer.

o

I don’t look at my wins;
just at my losses.

My victories are temporary;
I dwell on my failures … longer.

o

Run

All I can feel is impending doom.
I pray to look forward to tomorrow
and not be filled with dread.

Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, stop.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, stop.

When will my life slow down?

Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, stop.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, stop.

When will my life stop?


You may think me a fool;
for I am God’s tool.

God uses me as He pleases,
for I love my Lord, Jesus.

I am obedient and obey;
for it is following God’s Way.

I pray not to delay;
Jesus told us:

“I Am the Truth”
“I Am the Way.”
John 14:6

In the morning
I’ll await in expectation...
to hear Your answer,
to my lament, to my petition.

Good Night Prayer

Dear God of Power and Might,
I pray that I may get some sleep tonight.

Take my problems,
take my worries.
For God cares for me –
1 Peter 5:7

Help me Lord,
to sleep tonight.
I love you Lord,
with all my might.

I thank you now Lord,
and now I say,
‘Good Night.’

Amen



Three Little Words

Three little words
tear me apart.

Three little words
are locked in her heart.

Three little words
that mean so much.

Three little words
I long to hear.

Three little words
that I’ll never hear.

o

I’m not a poet
don’t you know it.

But I love God;
and I try to show it!

I keep writing prayers
all the time.

God keeps putting them
in my mind.

I think of God
all the time.

God is always with me;
by my side.

By His Word,
I abide.

o

Jesus Christ, His Spirit
is all I hunger and thirst for.

Jesus Christ, His Spirit
is all I desire.

I will never be
Mr. Righteous.

I will never be
Mr. God-Know-it-all.

Cause I know I am
Mr. Imperfect; Mr. Mistake.

Mr. I Have Doubts;
Mr. I Have Fears.

I am not being Humble;
For I am a Mr. Failure.

o

Why is my life so hollow?
Why is my faith so shallow?


When will I trust?
When will I follow?

I will never be satisfied with where I am.

I will always desire a closer relationship with God;

for God is always drawing me nearer, closer to Him.

o

How much more do you need to be secure?

...always just - a little more!

How much is enough?

Greed is an unquenchable thirst and desire.

Only the Bread of Life and Living Water can fill our hearts and souls.

Only every Word from the Mouth of God
is the bread we need to satisfy our hunger.



19.

I feel like giving up.
I want to give up.
I would love to give up.

But I can't give up.
Giving up is a luxury that I cannot afford.

My Life is an “Open Book”
Literally!
Don’t be fooled...
Don’t be misled...
I'm not that good.

I write down the good;
I write down the bad.

I write when I'm happy;
I write when I'm sad.



20.

I am beginning to see
The blessing of needing other people.

These are the people
God wants me to meet.

·

What’s wrong?
Everything and Nothing.
I’m not happy;
Even when things are going good.

·

I watch shadows as they creep up a building.
On a cloudy day
I miss the shadows.

It is hard to see God’s beauty when you are trapped
in the belly of a whale (or trapped in a parking garage.)

I spend most of my time in a place where I do not belong;
A place where I do not want to be.

I am in bondage –
I wait for God to Rescue and Save me.

·

I am like a candle slowly melting away.
My flame is flickering.
I am burning out!

·

My finances are like walking a tightrope...
One false misstep and down I go.

·

God’s love is like the sun’s warmth on your face;
Steady winds blowing of Grace.

God’s Love is as infinite as the stars;
As Deep and Wide as the oceans below.

God loves you;
More than you will ever know.

·

The best thing about Forgiveness
is that you don’t carry anger and revenge
around with you in a suitcase.
3/9/09



21.

The Ocean

The ocean is a huge and vast expanse;
it goes on as far as the eye can see.
But the ocean goes far beyond the horizon.

This is much like our understanding of God.
--God goes on far beyond what we can see.

We often can only see the surface of the waters;
the waves, the turbulence, the storms....

We often don't see that there is much more just beneath the surface.
We often do not see or recognize the Depths of God
We do not see the ebbs and flows, the undercurrents, the tides of God.

7/16/09 eoa


Shelter From the Storm
Lyrics by Bob Dylan


22.

Looking Up

Whenever I am at the bottom...
the bottom of life,
the bottom of the pit...
I cry out in vain.

Slowly I look up...
and there you are....
Where you have always been.

Looking down upon me...
not in disgust...
But looking down lovingly upon me.

You have always been there...
watching over me
with your arms reached out
to hold and comfort me.

All I had to do...
was to look up and take your hand.
And there you were
Always with me.


Added November 22, 2013




I may be helpless
But I am never hopeless
For I always have God.

I pray for God to always go before me
in every situation.
Whether the seas be calm or stormy
I pray for God to always go before me.




What I Believe is the most valuable treasure that I have

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful,
Because I come to you for safety.
In the shadow of your wings I find protection
Until the raging storms are over.

Psalm 57:1

Inspired from Psalm 57:1

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful,
Help me to get through the raging storms of my mind.

Help me to navigate through the Seas of Failure.

In the shadow of your wings
Help me to find safe harbor.

Help me to find peace on Life’s rocky shore.



To you alone, O Lord, to you alone
And not to us must glory be given
Because of your constant love and faithfulness.

Psalm 115:1




I know in my heart that God has richly blessed my life –
More than I realize, More than I can see.

Dear Lord,
Open my eyes that I may see.

I once was lost, but now I’m found,
was blind but now I see.

Dear Lord, I have empty hands,

Feet that stumble,

Eyes that don’t see,

Ears that don’t listen,

I speak hurtful words without thinking;

Hurtful words that I cannot take back,

My mind is closed,

My heart aches,

My soul searches,

My strength weakens,

My faith wavers,

My hopes sink,

YET

I shall praise the Lord,

I will give thanks to God in all things,

Through all circumstances,

For God’s Love, God’s Nature, never changes.

God’s love is everlasting, steadfast, unfailing, perfect, forgiving, unconditional, ....

Thanks be to God.

Amen



Today is just another bad day in my Roller Coaster of Life;
Life's ups and downs on my Bi-Polar Express.

I woke up today to my Nightmare.


It is sunny and bright outside...
It is dark and gloomy inside...
And there is No place to Hide!


Because he who doubts
is like a wave of the sea,
blown and tossed by the wind.

James 1:6


I am like the Wave that is tossed about by the ocean.
I have No control over the winds and storms that blow me.
Maybe I'll wash up upon the Shores of Oblivion.


Even though I am having a very bad day...
My "BLESSINGS" keep Shouting Out!
And Reminding me... "You Are Loved!"
"You Are Not Alone!"

October 18, 2014


Here is Habakkuk's Prayer; a prayer from a man who has lost everything; but still rejoices in the Lord!

Habakkuk's Prayer excerpt:

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.
Habakkuk 3:17-19




23.

I am only alive...
when I am serving God.

I am only alive...
when I am serving others.

Serving myself is Nothing but...
Empty Lonliness.



Oooops!

Sometimes...
I want to give up.
I want to surrender.
Because my dreams will never come true.
My dreams will never materialize.
My hard work will never pay off.
All of my efforts are worthless.
I believe that my life will never get better.
Will I surrender to my Depression?
Will I accept my hopelessness?
All of my Failures have won...
I have lost all of my strength.
I have lost all of my Battles...
Lost All Hope!
I Give UP!
Oooops! Wait a minute
A FLCIKER OF HOPE!
I'm getting back up!
Now where did that come from???
*This inspires me to remember "Anyway." 3/20/2014

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered:
We will forgive them anyway.
If we are kind, people may accuse us of selfish ulterior motives.
We will be kind anyway. What we spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.
We will build anyway.
The good we do today, people will often forget tomorrow.
We will do good anyway.
If we give the world the best we have, it may never be enough.
We will give the world the best we have anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between us and God;
it is never between us and them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between us and God;
it is never between us and them anyway.

(Adapted from a prayer inscribed on the wall of Mother Teresa’s
Children’s Home in Calcutta.)
Call to Worship at Arapaho United Methodist Church
Sunday, August 7, 2011.





Life is common

Life is common
Life is all around us.
Life is beautiful
Life is sacred.
Death is common
Death is all around us.
Beautiful and sacred Death is...
NOT.

3/20/2014


I want my Life to be meaningful
I want my death to be meaningful.
I want my life to Point to God.
I want my death to Point to God.

12/23/2014



Eclipse
Looking up at the night's sky.
Eclipse on October 8, 2014

I witnessed an eclipse the other night
It was an amazing sight.
The moon seemed to struggle to keep shining bright…
But the earth’s shadow slowly devoured the moon’s soft light.
Finally the moon disappeared from sight.
But like the Phoenix born from the ashes…
The moon is Reborn…
For nothing can hide the Light.

eoa 10/16/2014

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16


The Moon
I look for the moon every night.
I search the heavens to find her.
She slowly shows herself through the coming nights.
Like a beautiful woman she comes to life;
A sliver, a crescent of God’s moonlight.
She finally blesses us with her full,
glorious face shining bright.
She plays peek-a-boo with the clouds;
She gives us light through the night.
But sadly she begins to fade away;
As she came, a sliver, a crescent of God’s moonlight.
She slowly disappears with Grace;
And finally she is gone without a trace.
But thank God, she will return.
Return she will to brighten up our lives. - eoa


I see the moon
And the moon sees me.
God bless the moon
And God bless me.

I see the moon
And the moon sees me.
God bless the moon
God’s gift to me.

The moon is the little sister of the earth.



Worries

Usually what you worry about...
Never Happens!
But sometimes it does.

Usually the endless possibilities
of my Greatest Fears
Never Happens!...

How many endless scenarios can I imagine
of my Greatest Fears...
Most of the time...
the Worst...
Never Happens!

Will it Happen
This Way? or That Way?
It might not even Happen!


"The wound is the place
where the Light enters you."
Rumi





24.

Christmas 2014:

Christmas is the exclamation mark that manifest and symbolizes
all of my failures.

Is there any honesty in Christmas? We truly don’t know the birth date of the birth of Jesus Christ. Christmas (and Thanksgiving) are more about shopping, Black Friday, and the Shopping Days till Christmas. But as a Christian shouldn’t Christmas mean more? A time of giving; not receiving?
A time with family; not shopping? A time of thankfulness and gratitude; not a time of stress? Could Christmas be a time to ‘Love Your Neighbor’; a time to help and feed the poor? Jesus was fond of banquets and celebrations and sharing a meal with friends and neighbors. But these days do we ever invite the Poor; the Hungry?

We do not have a Christmas tree.
No lights on the tree that we do not have.
No presents under the tree that we do not have.
Yet without a tree, lights, and presents I have received
the Greatest Gift of all…
Jesus Christ.
And Jesus’ Spirit is with me throughout the year.



Santa Claus is coming to town! Have a stress free Christmas!
Remember the Reason for the Season!




Heaven
Looking up at the night's sky.

I have had no “near death” experiences and I really don’t have a clue what heaven would look like.

But for me heaven couldn’t wouldn’t be heaven without my beloved dogs and cats. In fact it wouldn’t be heaven without flying birds, squirrels, and butterflies. In fact it couldn’t wouldn’t be heaven without blue skies, puffy white clouds, occasional rains, and snow. It couldn’t wouldn’t be heaven without the moon and the stars at night; without the first sun rays of dawn, and crimson sunsets. How could heaven be beautiful without flowers? It couldn’t wouldn’t be heaven without trees, running streams, or ocean waves.

It makes me think that Heaven on Earth may be closer than we think! Maybe heaven is in the present, the Here & Now!
12/13/2014

God’s Whisper
Adapted from 1 Kings 19:11-12

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper....
Adapted from 1 Kings 19:11-12

The wind may be your troubles keeping you up at night.
The wind may be your sleepless, restless nights.
Maybe your world is falling apart and you are between a rock and a hard place.

The earthquake may be your trembling with fears.
You are on shaky ground.
The earth beneath your feet is giving way.
You’re slipping, falling….

The Fire is testing, maybe a fever, stress, troubles, inescapable fears….
But God is the answer to your prayers, God is with you, be still and calm and listen! LISTEN FOR GOD’S WHISPER!

Be joyful always,
pray continuously,
give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 adapted

eoa May 7, 2015




Perceptions and Perspectives

"How blest I be to look up at thee."
Looking up at the night's sky.
Sometimes our perspective depends upon our point of view.

I look up at the moon and the stars.
I am amazed at how far away and how small they are.
The moon and the stars are huge and grand…
The Truth be told…
They are looking down at me…
So infinitesimally so much smaller than they.
The moon and the stars are so far away…
"How blest I be to look up at thee."
I see the moon
And the moon sees me.
God bless the moon
And God bless me.
Star light
Star bright
I wish I may
I wish I might
Be blessed by your Light Tonight.



25.

Yoga is a Dance

Yoga is a Dance, a Ballet.
There are Twist and Turns
You stretch your body
You stretch your mind.

We are part of a Cosmic Ballet.
The earth, the planets dance around the sun.
Our solar system is a part of the
Milky Way Ballet.

Stars dance across the night’s sky.
Clouds dance in the wind.
Leaves quiver
as Trees dance in the wind.

Fish dance in the seas.
Birds sing and dance in the air.
People dance around the world.

Angels dance in heaven.

Living is a dance…
A dance with everyone!
A dance with everything!

July 22, 2015
eoa



Whether

Whether you love dogs or cats
Trees or flowers
Friends or Family
Whatever you Love Deeply…
You Love Everyone and Everything.
September 28, 2015
eoa





Impermanence a poem inspired by Mary Oliver's "Snow Geese."
Oh, to love what is lovely, and will not last!
Music by Deuter Album: Tibet




Getting Older Remembrances

As you get older...
You think about the people you LOVE...
And how much you miss them.

I remember when you were five...
And somehow, the years flashed by.

And I ask myself, "Where was I?"




How many times can you be pushed back
Until the elastic SNAPS
And you stop coming back?

How much cold silence
Can one person bear?

A soft touch
A kind word
That is all that I wanted.

LOVE is all that I needed!

August 25, 2015

Three Little Words Repeated

Three little words
tear me apart.

Three little words
are locked in her heart.

Three little words
that mean so much.

Three little words
I long to hear.

Three little words
that I’ll never hear.





26.
The New Chapters

“I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.”

– Walt Whitman


Sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of fear of the unknown,
they prefer suffering that is familiar.

The seed of suffering in you may be strong,
but don't wait until you have no more suffering
before allowing yourself to be happy.

Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.
Conscious breathing is my anchor.

Life is available only in the present moment.

Hope is important because it can make the present moment
less difficult to bear.
If we believe that tomorrow will be better,
we can bear a hardship today.

Thich Nhat Hahn
Peace Is Every Step,
The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life


There was a man who lived in Hell.
He could have left at any time
But he never did!
Because he was accustomed to the streets.


There was a man who lived in Hell.
He could have left at any time
But he never did!
Because he was accustomed to the streets.

As told by

Gene and Peggy Helmick-Twice Upon a Time Storytellers





Everything I write has a thread of Depression, despair, and failure woven into all of the writing. But though I constantly struggle with depression, despair, and failure God always conquers all fears; God always wins these struggles. God is always with me. Only with the help of God do I prevail. From moment to moment, God is my daily Savior. Thanks be to God

Osten 4/17/09



Next: Witness Walk to Emmaus

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